Being a quiet, always on your own road, person caries its magic but as everything else in the world it requires some balance. Without realizing at all I killed my social live with terrible excuses like “I’m not into parties”, “I have other things to do, next time maybe” and “I prefer to stay at home”. For more than four months I was so concentrated on my own movement through the life that I forgot this movement is within people as well. Trying not to force myself of going out only unleashed my other, obviously introvert side, and I sincerely didn’t want to meet these people, go to nice events or simply enjoy the good weather with a walk and chatting in the park.
Yesterday I broke this circle and even though it was raining, it was late and I felt tired, I went to the concert of Michael Nyman – one of the last fabulous events of Malta Festival in Poznań. Apart of the epic feeling created by the classic music widespread above the dark Malta Lake, I experienced an internal enlightenment about why I used to have social life and how I missed it recently.
- Staying on one place or all alone for too long is not good for my mental health.
To stay focused on my inner self, to listen, understand and develop as human are my constant and preferred ways in life. Unfortunately, I got dizzy of wandering within my own consciousness. It become my own cage instead of freedom point. Like the room of Marco Fogg in Paul Auster’s “Moon Palace”, I observed myself, stared in my mind and soul, and decided that I don’t need more. The idea of more was fading away. And here it is where the communication and other people come in hand. All we fear, all we need and want is a projection into the people we communicate and relate with. If you want to understand better yourself, you need other people to define your own situations. Socializing is what we know from our birth and cannot avoid it later.
- Meeting & connecting with people is essential for building friendships and being useful in the society.
As I pointed out already, we are social animals and we simply need to feel the presence of the others around. Sharing old experiences and new moments are the most helpful tool for being happy and connecting with people who later can even be my friends. It is not about the need always to see a new acquaintance this way, it is the idea that I can learn something from every human being. If I can give something in exchange, than I consider the interaction absolutely successful! I met a great girl from Warsaw last night who also studied sociology and it was nice and interesting to have a chat about how she had the same doubts about managing life as me right now. Simple but helpful and calming.
- I want to give a chance to serendipity.
Honestly, what’s the chance to meet the love of your life, your future boss to offer you a dream-job in the dream-startup company or to find a black&white umbrella with cats in the night bus when it’s raining, if you don’t go out? Yes, quite low. I want to give chance to serendipity to take place in my life which means that I cannot be passive or lazy. There is time for rest and dating yourself and there is time for being active and go outside to explore all the miracles that the world want to show you today. Or tonight. I am master of my own life and I do take care by allowing the chance and coincidence happen now and then. Because who knows who I will meet at this event or what I will find on the way…
- Meet art. Enjoy art.
This is so simple and I forgot it. I forgot how I adore theatre, live music, modern art, graffiti and any form of inner aesthetic expression or civil action. I am not particularly fan of classic music, I enjoy some classics now and then and Michael Nyman was a new name for me. But even better! To discover and enjoy something new, to feed this hunger of your senses that cannot be indulged with Game Of Thrones or any other series… this means to meet art. And art is not happening at home on the screen of my laptop, maybe sometime shows and inform like a channel, but is not happening. I am from the people who believe that art is communication between an author and audience (even when the author says there is nothing to be communicated with the audience) and I am always honoured, happy and interested to be part from this audience and to try to read the message. Thank you creators for sharing, I take my part from here and come to see you, listen to you, taste and smell you and hopefully – to feel you.
- Kill anxiety – interact.
It happens that on this concert we were in the VIP section. Nothing to special, just few free drinks, red bracelet and very famous people around. The point is that for me these people are not familiar to me – I don’t go to Polish theatre, don’t watch Polish TV and certainly I am away of the high-life stars. My friends saw a very popular actor. One of them said “I can think of only one or two more so famous people in Poland right now”. This actor just had a premier of his self directed opera based on “The magic mountain” by Thomas Mann. So, we talk about some serious stuff here, right? And this doesn’t change the fact that I have never seen this man before, right? Then why I get so anxious when other friend asked me to take a photo of him and this actor? It shouldn’t be an issue for this guy, simple question, politely asked in almost correct Polish… But I got nervous, I blushed and I had my body stiff. I went with my friend and I took the photo as I also got mad on my first reaction. I realized that in general the lack of interaction with people makes you forget how to do it and more importantly, what it feels like. I got nervous, so what? Why I need to get double anxiety about a situation? How I will learn to deal with the first wave of anxiety? How I will feel comfortable enough within people? There is only one answer – by practising interaction. Learning by doing is my philosophy here as well.
Being social is not compulsory and certainly cannot answer all the needs of a self. But it is part of the human processes, therefore important element of one’s own development. In the end, it is all about balance – how many friends you will keep close, how many exhibitions you will visit this week and how much time you will spend on meditation.